Forbidden Indulgences
by ilovetvalot
Summary: Every woman deserved just one forbidden indulgence, didn't she. He was hers. Written for the TV Prompt Challenge: Here Come the Brides - "One Good Lie Deserves Another".


**Author's Note: Hello, readers! Just a couple of notes today -**

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**Forbidden Indulgences**

_**TV Prompt: Here Come the Brides - "One Good Lie Deserves Another"**_

Staring down at the innocent looking note in her trembling hands, Jennifer Jareau blinked again, focusing intently on the bold scrawl she knew so well.

_**The Radisson Hotel**_

_**Room 431**_

_**8:00 tonight**_

_**I don't care what you tell him -**_

_**Be there.**_

Swallowing, she shook her head automatically. The note was exactly what she should have expected.

Direct. Terse. Not one frill.

So very typically him.

From the moment she'd met him, he'd never been another way. Many saw him as cold...unemotional…unfeeling. But she'd seen the man behind that stoic mask he wore. She'd seen him lose control.

Once.

One night.

One beautiful, amazing, unforgettable night.

And now after all these years, she could see it again. If she obeyed his summons. With a bittersweet smile, she felt a tear slide down her cheek. One last command to obey.

It was different now. She was with Will. Unhappily, admittedly, but still committed. Did she dare follow through with this? Did she dare steal a single night for herself...for her own selfish desires?

Closing her eyes, her mind meandered down the winding path the last seven years had taken. So many moments missed...so many chances lost. But in her hands, she held one last opportunity for a brief glimpse into the idyllic world that only existed in her dreams.

Perhaps it was for just a single night. But, God, to experience the sheer bliss she'd felt in his arms once more...was it worth risking everything she held dear?

Of course, if she was honest with herself, she had to admit that while she'd given William LaMontagne her body, he'd never owned her heart. She'd only given that once...and to a man who obviously didn't even realize the gift. Or at the very least, he did a convincing job at pretending to be ignorant of her feelings.

Even now, she didn't understand this pull she felt toward him. Similar in attitude, they both personified the meaning of the word "reserved". Except …when they'd collided in that one single night, the explosion of passion between them defying anything she'd known prior or since.

She yearned to taste that burn in the flame of that particular fire again.

It wasn't right. She was committed to another man, allowing him to hold her in his arms every night even though those weren't the limbs she wanted holding her close. They never had been. Will had been convenient...easy...simple. And because her heart had ached, she'd permitted herself to drift into a comfortable relationship with him, desperately seeking some sort of balm for her wounded soul.

It had been a mistake. Using another man in an effort to distract herself from the one she couldn't have quite possibly ranked as the most selfish act she'd ever performed in her life. No one won. Not Will...not her...not their son. Absolutely no one. Because her heart and soul was entwined with another and nothing could change that.

Sighing as she pocketed the note, she knew her decision was made. She might hate herself later, but for now, as her footsteps automatically carried her toward the elevator, she was resolved to at least have this one last interlude...something tangible to sustain her over the cold future.

**/***/**

The key felt cold in her hand as she stood in front of the appointed room and a chill climbed her spine that had nothing to do with the temperature.

Everyone had a moment of truth...a moment that could change the course of her life irrevocably… and she couldn't help wondering if this was hers. Her tongue felt like sandpaper in her mouth as she nervously fingered the key in her palm. Beyond that door was either her salvation or her Achilles' heel, and she'd yet to determine which she hoped was waiting.

She'd tried to hate him over the years...his arrogance, his coldness...but as silly as it sounded, those qualities had only fascinated her further, drawing her deeper into his intricate web. Now, much like the fly ensnared by the spider, she, too, was spellbound by the weave of his intricate design.

Her carefully constructed defenses were crumbling...each step she'd taken down the hallway creating one more nail in the proverbial coffin. No other man had ever held this much influence over her...she'd never allowed it. And now, standing once more on the cusp of a decision that she'd never be able to undo, she again hesitated.

She could walk away now. Hell, screw walking...she should run as far and as fast as she possibly could. Sprint for that safety and security that Will LaMontagne offered her in spades.

But that wasn't the dilemma, was it? The problem wasn't that she didn't want everything Will was offering her. She sadly just didn't want those things with him. She wanted the dream with an emotionally unavailable son of a bitch that had already used her once. And still, here she was, breathlessly anticipating a second round of the same.

Or was she?

Perhaps, he'd changed...realized that what they'd both assumed was impossible could finally become a reality. Maybe he'd reflected on their relationship and decided that they were stronger united than divided.

Maybe pigs would sprout wings and fly around the Capitol, too.

But she very sincerely doubted it.

In all likelihood, he just wanted one last fuck, she thought bitterly. But then, of course, so did she. Why the hell else was she standing in the corridor outside a hotel room door fingering a key like an idiot?

Oh, screw it, she mentally muttered. She was here. She was willing. And against her better judgment, she was still deeply in love with him. Honestly, was there any better way to put the period on her years with the BAU than this? With any luck, this last encounter might allow her to move on with her life...to finally purge him from her memories.

And shoving the key into the lock, she had to smile. Her psyche had become quite the expert at lying to itself in order to get its wicked way. One good lie deserved another, didn't it?

One last forbidden indulgence, her mind whispered as the door opened and she met his dark eyes across the length of the room.

One last forbidden indulgence before she moved on into her well-ordered future.

_**Finis**_


End file.
